Lord F’s Christmas tips

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Lord F’s Christmas tips

Post by Lord Farnswaller on 6/12/2011, 13:08

Remember at this time of year to do the deck your balls with holly! That way when you tea bag the victim gets both a prickly surprise (more than normal) and a face full of festive cheer.

Slomgin – what a waste of perfectly good gin, give the fruit as a gift and drink the gin.

Christmas trees – easily collected from your local forest just drive there in the range rover with a chainsaw and bobs your uncle. Remember however to give it a good shake before taking it into the house to get rid of the squirrels and cover the number plate just encase the local park ranger see’s you.

Unwanted gifts – remember it is better to give than receive, so if you get another hand knitted jumper with a picture of a snow man who looks like he’s been through a mincing machine on it simply give it away. I suggest giving it to a disaster relief charity and watch the joy of the poor soul who’s given it looking very ‘nice’ on the TV and the sense of joy from the fool who gave it to you seeing their lovely gift on TV.

_______________________________________________
When a mummy troll and a daddy douchebag love each other very much, they share a special hug. Sometimes, nine months later, the result is a beautiful baby shat goblin.

To tea bag or not tea bag– that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The noscoping and douche bags of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of asshats
And, by opposing, end them







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Re: Lord F’s Christmas tips

Post by Guest on 6/12/2011, 13:17

that about sums up my Christmas

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Re: Lord F’s Christmas tips

Post by SixenSix on 6/12/2011, 13:19

Some good tips there lol!

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Re: Lord F’s Christmas tips

Post by redbaron0 on 6/12/2011, 13:34

yep thats my xmas sorted i dont have to buy any pressies this year, but i wont be getting any

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Re: Lord F’s Christmas tips

Post by Guest on 9/12/2011, 20:02

Ah yes.......the season of good will..............apple pies, booze, all the trimmings, booze, choccies, booze and all topped off with...........well plenty of hours sat with the old 360. Happy times.......

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Re: Lord F’s Christmas tips

Post by Guest on 9/12/2011, 22:40

I told my wife all I wanted for Chistmas was her to shut up for a bit, now all I want is my two front teeth. Very Happy

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