Lord Farnswaller and the ‘Bridesmaid’

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Lord Farnswaller and the ‘Bridesmaid’

Post by Lord Farnswaller on 6/4/2011, 15:57

I thought I would regale you all with the story of one of the villagers who was always a bridesmaid and never a bride.



It was back in the heady days of 1998 which I meet ‘Cheryl’, this was when I was doing some community service at the Local Church after another incident involving a police car, two pound of carrots and a mallet. Anyway I noticed that at every wedding there was always a 6 foot 2 bridesmaid wearing a bright pink dress, on several occasions I noticed said bridesmaid being chased off by the best man.



Ah Cheryl how ‘she’ cut a dashing figure, 6 foot 2, stubble, laddered tights, knee high white PVC boots and a second hand bridesmaid dress. Now ‘Cheryl’ had a thing for catching the flowers thrown by the bride at the end of the ceremony, I had watch on several occasions as ‘she’ dived through the air with the grace of a fridge to catch a bunch of flowers, knocking several onlookers out of the way. I am reminded of the time she did it at a Gypsy wedding, the resulting fight between ‘Cheryl’ and 20 female gypsies made a cage fight look like a scrap between two 4 year olds. At the end ‘Cheryl’ stood there rocking slightly back and fro clutching the remains of a bunch of flowers in one hand, the unconscious body of the mother of the bride in the other, dress in taters, wig attached by one hair clip, blood pouring from a cut above the eye caused by an errant stiletto heel shouting out ‘got them you bunch of ‘@%$~s’. The only person I have ever met who actually swore in symbols and not with words! It was then her secret came out, she was in fact the local Magistrate who had been living a double life for many a year. Poor Clive, he hasn’t heard the end of it and I still ‘remind’ him of it whenever I get brought before him for misunderstandings!

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When a mummy troll and a daddy douchebag love each other very much, they share a special hug. Sometimes, nine months later, the result is a beautiful baby shat goblin.

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Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The noscoping and douche bags of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of asshats
And, by opposing, end them







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Re: Lord Farnswaller and the ‘Bridesmaid’

Post by mutantblues on 6/4/2011, 16:35

lol!

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Re: Lord Farnswaller and the ‘Bridesmaid’

Post by Guest on 6/4/2011, 16:38

You are as Boozehound would say "As f*@ked up as a soup sandwitch."

Laughing

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Re: Lord Farnswaller and the ‘Bridesmaid’

Post by Lord Farnswaller on 6/4/2011, 16:58

why thank you

_______________________________________________
When a mummy troll and a daddy douchebag love each other very much, they share a special hug. Sometimes, nine months later, the result is a beautiful baby shat goblin.

To tea bag or not tea bag– that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The noscoping and douche bags of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of asshats
And, by opposing, end them







ARC Awards: Level 5 - 113 achievo's - 957 G's
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Lord Farnswaller
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Re: Lord Farnswaller and the ‘Bridesmaid’

Post by Guest on 6/4/2011, 20:27

BlamefulAnimal6 wrote:You are as Boozehound would say "As f*@ked up as a soup sandwitch."

Laughing

'soup sandwich'. ....now That sounds like a challage for lunchtime ... Lol

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