For DG, something to make you feel better or maybe not

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For DG, something to make you feel better or maybe not

Post by Lord Farnswaller on 25/2/2011, 16:30

Couple jobs I’ve done in the past:



First at a sea side resort, put new foul pump line in to divert the existing foul main from a well-known holiday camp to the main sewer (which discharged into the bay, less said about that the better). Well the day comes to divert the flow and turn the pumps on, remember also it was the summer and the camp was full so during the diversion the holding tank was nice and full. Well they throw the lever and its goes okay, well for the first 10 minutes, till one of the blokes looks and sees this ‘liquid’ seeping out of the ground then all of a sudden a 10ft high jet of ‘liquid’ shoots out of the ground, followed by the foreman running down the site shouting for them to turn the pump off. A local tanker company was on turn around for the rest of the week emptying the storage tank out and they had to cart away loads of ***** contaminated soil!



Another site, this time an ex chicken processing factory. We were told that there were two small pits where the unused bits of chicken had been buried. The contamination lot turn up and put the bucket in the ground to find the small pits were actually massive, covered half the site, the complete boundary (this was a 62 unit spec housing scheme) and the pits were 3m deep. The problem being that they had been buried so deep they didn’t decompose. The whole village could smell the chickens being dug out, bagged and then sent to Swindon to be burnt, also all the groundwater had to be carted off site to be disposed of. I had the joy of attending weekly site meetings and the poor site manager had bought hundreds of cheap air fresheners to keep his office smelling pine fresh. Sad story was the bloke who sold it used the money to buy a flash car, went out got drunk, hit a kid and killed him, went to jail, came out of jail, bought another fast car, got drunk and put the car into a tree killing himself



Oh another good one: former drug squat in St Pauls, upon entering it the former inmates had ripped up floor boards so the bailiffs couldn’t get in, the bath was half full of excrement due to the water being off, the toilets were also full, along with the sink, the ground floor had a hole kicked in the floor and they had dumped (literally) through it into the basement along with needles and cans, one double bed room had a pee stained mattress in it and the floor covered in needles. The Health & Safety file made specific reference to the bloke who lived opposite who was a known drug dealer and there was the potential that he had access to a gun! The security guard we employed was the local mafia, he made me stand out the front of the site by my car so all the locals could see us together and mentioned that ‘no one will touch me or my car as they knew I was a friend of his’. He carried a large magnalite torch, no batteries in it just a metal bar so he could ‘encourage people to leave the house’



Another site, former school site and the council hadn’t turned the power off so when we went into one of the derelict portakabins the squatters had ripped the main off the wall and bent the wires to touch the metal conduit so turning the whole cabin into a death trap. Same site that the council had decided to save money and stuff the room full of straw to save money on insulation, any way local female arsonist (who had recently got out of jail for setting fire to Safeways) turns up and sets fire to it.



My favourite site of all, big site in same town and the demolition lads are clearing a rhyne of weeds, using a 16 ton machine bloke clips the 6” dia gas main, the 6” gas main supplying half of Taunton and pops the joint. Fine per minute £200, they could smell the gas in the centre of town. I have never seen so many Wales and West vans on one site! Although the best bit of the site was the 100 ton + machine pulling out 3m x 3m x 3m pile caps like they were nothing.



Oh and a favourite from a site a mate was the engineer on, the site manager discovered a 4000 gallon petrol tank. So rather than hold up the programme he got the ground worker to sling some strops round it and lift it out, it lifted half meter out of the ground before it ruptured. Would have been okay if empty, shame it was full of petrol and water, 4000 gallons of petrol and water mix which then turned a relatively clean brown field site into an environmental disaster! The site manager ‘left’ the company soon after.



Oh a good one, 4 storey block of timber frame flats 2 weeks away from handover and it caught fire and burnt down. Site manager and electrician (who had been working that weekend catching up) both had nervous breakdowns.



And the daft site manager of the day award goes to the bloke I did 100+ flats with in Plymouth, got to the stage to put the first floor precast concrete slab on, now instead of putting the steel beam between the slabs as per the design no he put it under the slab. So when you went into the kitchen you had this steel beam projecting out of the ceiling meaning anyone over 6 foot had to duck.



But nowhere near as good as the idiot I did some more flats with in a sea side town, at the end of the job we find a load of steel lintels for over the windows. Turns out he thought the stone window surround was structural and there for the lintels were not needed, no not needed on a four storey block of flats! We had to then spend ages and a load of money cutting the lintels back in.



Another one on a former Royal Navy supply depot the demolition contractor is flattening the old sheds and as it was late one night drove a bull dozer through one to ‘speed’ the process up. Turns up next morning to find the building was full of asbestos. Weirdest thing about the site was there was a building where they calibrated compasses and nothing grew more than 2 inch about the ground for 5 meters diameter, rest of the site was over grown.

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The noscoping and douche bags of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of asshats
And, by opposing, end them







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Re: For DG, something to make you feel better or maybe not

Post by Guest on 1/3/2011, 01:17

lol! lol! lol! lol!

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Re: For DG, something to make you feel better or maybe not

Post by knikki91 on 1/3/2011, 09:27

Bloody hell is all I can say to that.
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Re: For DG, something to make you feel better or maybe not

Post by Guest on 1/3/2011, 10:22

Some good ones in there Paul , after yesterdays mess where the kids in the area had sabotaged the over pumping on the main sewer we are working on at the weekend ( 'sh*t and 'other' things that get flushed down the toilet Everywhere )
Got some balls the little fekers disconnecting a high pressure pipe thats pumping 'sh*t ..!! Bit of luck we'll 'sniff' out any suspects if they walk by ... Lol

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Re: For DG, something to make you feel better or maybe not

Post by Lord Farnswaller on 1/3/2011, 12:51

thats just a few of them

one site they didn't connect the foul drain connecting the toilets to the main, 2 months later get call saying flies in the downstairs toilet and kitchen. They camera it and the whole void under the floor is full of 'waste'. Had to decant the whole family, rip the floor up, new carpets, kitchen and floors.

mates doing a site in Taunton, doing the reduce dig and come accross a plague pit. Bodies piled 3m deep over all of the site and believed to stretch over a fair area in Taunton.

Another site in taunton, 16th centuary convent later used as a boarding school. Remove flag stones in the courtyard to find buried nuns. also they removed plaster on a couple of walls to come accross a 16th centuray murial, the conservation officer wet himself with excitment.

_______________________________________________
When a mummy troll and a daddy douchebag love each other very much, they share a special hug. Sometimes, nine months later, the result is a beautiful baby shat goblin.

To tea bag or not tea bag– that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The noscoping and douche bags of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of asshats
And, by opposing, end them







ARC Awards: Level 5 - 113 achievo's - 957 G's
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